Thursday, October 25, 2012

A Tribute to My Sister...Just Because

Today is not her birthday. It's not Mother's Day. It's not even Thanksgiving, or Christmas. It's just a plain ol' Thursday, but it's also a day for a tribute to my sister. Why? Because I love her and I think she's amazing, and because shouldn't any day and every day be one to express our appreciation for the ones we love? Life is uncertain. Today I celebrate Katie.

Katie, who for every holiday and birthday takes it upon herself to plan how to get all 13 of us family members (including the littlest ones) together. And this is no easy task, now that we're all grown up. I don't know how this became her unofficial role, but I know why it has. Because she cares about each of us and she knows if we don't make plans, then nothing will ever happen, and we'll never be together. And sometimes I stop and I realize that if she were not here anymore, there would be this huge gaping hole, and who would fill those shoes of planning, and sending out numerous texts, and assigning who will bring what? And who would fill those shoes of hospitality, since almost every birthday and holiday is celebrated at her house?

Not only is she the holiday and family birthday planner extraordinaire, my sister is always finding ways to serve other people. Whether it's cooking a meal for a new mom, watching a friend's kids, doing my parents' laundry when their washer broke, taking a little gift to a friend to brighten her day, Katie seems to constantly be looking for ways that she can make life a little better for someone else. But the beautiful thing is that she's never flashy about it. She would probably roll her eyes at what I'm telling you and say something about how there's so much more that she could be doing for other people.

And there was the time that she taught me so much about how to be a loving wife. She and her husband had an ice cream business at the time and they were constantly transporting supplies to and from their store. On one particularly stressful day for her husband, he came home and told her on top of a bunch of other things that had gone wrong,that a big container filled with melted chocolate had tipped over in the back of his SUV. He told her not to worry about it, that he would clean it later. Katie could have said something about needing to be more careful with how he loaded the chocolate, she could have been frustrated, but I remember how she didn't say anything unkind, but only encouraged him. When he left in her car, she went to the garage and began to wipe (scoop is probably a better word) chocolate from the carpet of his Nissan Xterra. She lifted up the carpet to reveal that it had soaked through and was dripping everywhere. I could see the exasperation in her face, but she didn't want Doug to have to worry about it when he got home, so she kept it together, called a friend and asked if she could borrow her wet-vac, and before he came home, she had cleaned the carpet as well as she could, filling the  wet-vac with chocolatey water. I don't think I'll ever get the image out of my mind of chocolate covering her hands and arms as she so tangibly served her husband and bore some of the burdens of his day. Katie, you taught me that marriage isn't 50/ 50; it's 100/100. You demonstrated to me that you can say I love you all the time, but what really counts is how you show I love you .You were my hero, that day, Katie. And you never seemed more beautiful than you did with that chocolate all over your arms.

And together with that man, my sister is raising two beautiful little girls. Like any mom can attest, the days are often a blur of diapers and spit-up, and laundry that never ends. And I know there are days that her life feels more frustrating than fulfilling. But in the midst of what sometimes might feel like chaos, I see so much beauty. I see a mom sacrificing sleep to care for her girls. I see that same sleep- deprived woman carry on and put dinner on the table, and often still make enough to share with another family. I see a mom who is making memories with her daughter by doing crafts and reading books, and letting her "help" in the kitchen, even when it's more work when she does. I hear the happiness in her voice when her husband calls, and the encouragement she gives, even when she's having a rough day. I see her pursue friendships, even when it's difficult. I see her hesitate to ever get on any kind of a soap box because she knows that even if she's doing ok in one area, there are so many ways in which she wants to still grow. I see her her hold her money loosely when it comes to helping someone else. I see her give grace. I see a loyalty and commitment to the specific Body of believers who she has been called to serve alongside. I see a friend who has listened to me patiently when I've overreacted, worried too much, and when I've felt alone and misunderstood. I see the person I love to share good food with, who can juice carrots and Kale and run Half-Marathons, but who knows how to enjoy cheesecake and coffee. I see her laugh at herself and how hilariously unpredictable life can be...especially with children.

I see simple faith, free from pretension. I see imperfection. I see a work in progress. I see a life being lived well.

I see Jesus.