Life 101: That Underground Class I'm Not Enrolled In

Do you ever feel like everyone around you has life figured out and you missed the underground class that they all enrolled in entitled Life 101? I have a confession to make: I feel like that sometimes. I have a friend who recently confided in me that she has similar feelings too. So, I suspect that there are others of you out there who must feel the same way. The crazy thing is, someone else may be thinking the same thing about me, even as I am having these thoughts!

But of course, the reality is that no one has life completely figured out. While some people are definitely more mature than others or have learned wisdom from experience and counsel, we all have times when we simply don’t know what to do or when we feel lost and afraid. I think that comes with the territory of being human. We’re fallible and finite and live in a fallen world. It would be surprising if we didn’t feel lost at times.

But if we add comparison to our confusion or sense of lost-ness we only compound our problems. Life is already challenging enough, right? So, maybe instead of comparing ourselves to those who seem to have life figured out more than us, we could allow our sense of inadequacy to inspire us afresh toward seeking wisdom in Christ, the one "in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge" (Colossians 2:3).

We can always learn from others, especially those who are more skilled in areas where we are lacking. But vague thoughts of comparison only serve to alienate us more from others--often the very ones we could be learning from. These thoughts turn to envy and envy soon turns to despair (I speak from experience). 

Proverbs says that "A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot (14:30).

I don't know exactly what it means to have a tranquil heart, but I would suspect that it has a lot to do with contentment. And contentment can't co-exist with envy. And envy is fueled by comparison, by little sneaky, subtle thoughts like, "Man, it must be nice to have it all together like so-and-so," and the self-defeating thoughts like, "Why does everyone else seem to have life figured out except me?" Those thoughts should come with a warning that says Bone Rot (or despair) Ahead.

So, I'll admit it right here and now. I don't have it all figured out (not that you thought I did...but then again, maybe you did!). But I'm going to learn from the one who has all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, the one who knows the very best way to live. And by God's grace, I'm going to be on my guard against those sneaky, life-sucking thoughts. With God's help, I'll learn more and more to see you and others not as ones to fear or envy or hide from, but as people to love and rejoice with and learn from.

Thoughts on Gratitude...Again

Gratitude is hard work. It seems crazy that I even have to type those words. After all, I live in a part of the world where most of my problems could rightly be labeled “first world problems” (that phrase almost looks weird because I’m so used to seeing it as #firstworldproblems, which in and of itself helps prove the point). I have so much compared to so many. And yet it is so ridiculously hard to please me. Or for me to stay content.

I go through bouts where it comes a bit more naturally, where staying in a place of gratitude comes with more ease. But always I come back to a place of having to fight for it and work at it. Where it gets ugly and I become so tired of my own attitude that I am desperate to begin cultivating gratitude once again. Believe me, it’s not some super-holy desire to be obedient that often gets me here. I can’t live well in perpetual negativity. I don’t think any of us can. 

And maybe that’s why we’re admonished all throughout Scripture to give thanks. I think we can read those admonitions and sometimes feel once again like a little child who is being told to thank Aunt Susie for the birthday gift we may not have wanted in the first place. They can feel like distant, sterile reminders to “mind your manners.” But while minding our manners is important for certain social contexts, a heart of gratitude can transform our lives. Cultivating real gratitude is probably more like eating our vegetables and exercising than it is mere-manner minding. It's actually really good for us.

Giving thanks isn’t just something nice or proper to do. It’s good for our communities and necessary for our souls. And it’s not just something to do. I think it’s a way of being. It’s having a character shaped by trust in the goodness of God. But the being must be ushered in by the doing. And the doing doesn't have an end point--not in this life at least--and I can't fathom an eternity without thanks. But it doesn't matter what I can't fathom; this is what John heard and saw as he glimpsed Heaven:

"And all the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures, and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God,
saying, “Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever! Amen.”

And in another place it says they are saying "Worthy is the Lamb who was slain."

Jesus. The Lamb who was slain (and was raised) for me. For you. That certainly puts all my grumbling into perspective. On my worst day I have a living Savior who loves me and gave himself for me so that I can live the life I was meant to live and be the person I was meant to be--all for his glory.

And this is the part where I say something like, "Woe is me! For I am a woman of unclean lips..."

So I begin again. After a week of failing, thankful that His mercies are new every morning.

A Not-So-Novel-Idea

On a recent drive to work, as I was trying to calm some anxious thoughts, I was reminded of the Lord's Prayer. As I prayed those first words,“Our Father,” I was once again struck with the weight of what those words mean. I honed in on that simple word “Our” and was reminded of my community of brothers and sisters—not only my wonderful local Church and friends—but brothers and sisters around the world, some even suffering for their faithfulness to the truths I at times take so lightly. I was reminded that I am a part of something that is so much bigger than my one small and brief (though still precious in God’s eyes) life. I was reminded that Our Father has a plan for the world that He has graciously allowed me to be a part of, a plan that connects and unites all different kinds of people who otherwise would have little to nothing in common. And some of those people were praying that prayer at the same time as me.

Those are some wonderful things to be reminded of on a simple drive to work! All because of two words in an ancient prayer. 

 One thing that’s cool about praying the Lord’s Prayer is that even if you don’t get all the way through it, if you pause to mull over each line, and pray about things that come to mind related to each request, you have still prayed for some very significant things. You’ve still asked The Father for the things Jesus seemed to think were a top priority.

What I’m describing isn’t anything new; people have been praying this prayer and thinking these kinds of thoughts for centuries. But that’s part of the point, isn’t it? It’s funny how praying the Lord’s Prayer sometimes seems like a novel idea, but it’s really the opposite. A common complaint (and I’ve said it before) is I don’t even know how to pray right now! If you’re feeling this way, maybe a good place to start is with the not-so-novel prayer that Jesus taught his disciples. It might not seem like it applies to the very thing you’re going through, but I think Jesus made it broad enough to cover all your bases. Every joy, every difficulty, every trial can be brought to God in the words “Your Kingdom come. Your will be done,” as well as in the words, “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.” 

James Bryan Smith notes that "Jesus reveals the nature of the God to whom he prays in the context of his prayer." -The Good and Beautiful God, p.60

 In other words, the fact that Jesus says we can ask The Father for certain things is an indicator of his character. We can ask him for these things with the knowledge that he already wants to give them to us, otherwise, Jesus wouldn't have told us to ask for them!

In the liturgical church I grew up in, one of the prayers we prayed begins with these words: Almighty and Everlasting God, who art always more ready to hear than we to pray...

I think that's a pretty good incentive to pray. So, armed with the words Jesus taught us, the truths they remind us of, and the knowledge that they help to reveal God's character, may we begin (or be encouraged to continue) to pray to the One who is ready to hear. Even if you just think about the words "Our Father" for a while, I don't think you'll be in danger of wasting your time.

Re-thinking Ordinary

I went to college during a time (and I suspect things are still this way) when young people were encouraged to “Do big things for God” and “Not settle for an ordinary life” and to do the “radical” thing. I read John Piper’s book “Don’t Waste Your Life” and when the chapter on missions opened with the words “God is closing in on some of you” I felt like that must in fact be what was happening…because I felt really moved and even kind of guilty when all the statistics of unreached people groups were shared. And short-term mission trips were often touted as the height of the Christian college experience. You have classes to take over the summer? You have bills to pay and need to work? You just need to take a step of faith because you may never have an opportunity like this again. Ironically, some of these trips were supposed to prepare you for sharing your faith in “the real world,” while the unspoken message was that real ministry happens in a special context, and that carrying out your duties with school and finances is simply not trusting God with your future.

I’m not knocking all mission trips. I don’t doubt that good things come from them. I know that they afford opportunities for personal growth and being stretched in new ways.

But I wonder. Could the emphasis upon doing these big things be doing more harm than good? Does the radical message that young people hear over the course of four years (or longer if you grow up in youth group) really line up with what the narrative of Scripture points to?

For thirty years Jesus didn’t do much that seemed very radical. He was pretty much an ordinary guy, doing an ordinary job. Why do we tell eighteen year-olds that they have to do big things now, as if gaining wisdom and experience before boarding a plane to a place they’ve never been to share the Gospel in a language they don’t know is somehow wrong? 

I wonder too, if this culture of big experiences—of retreats and conferences and mission trips and just getting-a-degree-in-anything-so-I-can-do-missions-some-day (it happens more than you might think. Heck, I did it too.) might actually be feeding into our natural bent towards impatience and instant gratification. Think about it. A short-term trip provides all the glamor and adventure with no long-term commitment to a people or place. Switching majors from pre-med or engineering to major in “missions” might sound more spiritual, but could it also be motivated by laziness? And might those other fields offer the potential for greater service and generosity in Christ’s name in the long run? And how does just getting a degree in just anything so you can do missions one day really prepare you to serve others well? Oh, hey, African people…I’m here! Aren’t you glad to see me! I don’t really have any skills to offer you, and I can’t really communicate with you (although, for the record, I do have a degree in Communications), but we can hang out and stuff…

I used to recoil in disgust from the idea of living a “normal American life.” I wanted to go to the hard places and do the hard things. I think I really did have a desire to obey and serve Christ; I often just discounted all the ways I could do that right where I was. For all the times I heard "You can be a missionary right where you are," and believed it on some level, part of me still thought that that's just something people say to make themselves feel better. So, I went on the mission trips. I learned some stuff and shared the Gospel with some people (who, unfortunately, I have no contact with now). Then, I finished school and got married, and now, in many ways, my life looks exactly like I determined it never would. We even have a white picket fence (oh, the horror!). Granted, it’s falling over and our yard is brown and scorched from the Texas heat, but it’s a white picket fence, nonetheless. 

But you know what? This is a good life. And Geoff and I are daily learning how to follow Jesus right where we are. Not in a settling-for-less-it'll-do- kind of way either. These words from James Bryan Smith and Lynda Graybeal capture this goodness:

"Contrary to what some people think...God does not confine his affirmation of human activity to those actions we consider "religious," important as they are. By growing up in a family and taking part in everyday human activities such as working, eating, laughing, eating, washing, talking, and more, Jesus put his imprimatur, his "stamp of approval" on every aspect of human life. Nothing was exempt; everything received equal honor.

Likewise, Jesus affirmed our vocations, both blue-collar and white-collar, by becoming an ordinary laboroer--a carpenter--and a teacher--a rabbi...In the Incarnation, God affirmed the value of human life and the goodness of the entire material world." -A Spiritual Formation Workbook, p. 69-70

I’ve had to re-think how I view the Christian life and one thing I’ve had to admit to myself is that my desire to do big things and have an impact was driven in large part by the desire to feel significant. And the motivation to feel important and significant is drawn towards words like radical and runs from words like ordinary. The desire to make an impact might have more to do with boosting my self-esteem than it does with calling or vocation or long-term commitment. It’s not that these desires are wrong. They are wired into all of us. I think we just need to be honest with ourselves and help others to be honest with themselves too. Because if you can really see the motivation behind something you want to do, it can help you see if it’s really the wisest choice. But we also need to realize that we are already a part of a story that gives our lives significance. We don’t have to chase that significance down. We need to realize that by virtue of entrusting our lives to Christ we have become a part of His plan to redeem the world. He said “You are the salt of the earth...You are the light of the world.” I want to emphasize two things: YOU and ARE. That’s you and me. Right where we are, right now, even in our most ordinary and boring moments. He has declared it to be so. We can improve upon how we live up to that reality, but it’s already a fact. Not you will be. Not you are if you do XYZ-Big Thing. You are. 

This passage probably isn’t often quoted in college ministries:

                Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another, for that indeed is what you are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more, and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one. (1 Thessalonians 4:9-12 ESV)

I guess it’s just not EPIC enough. So, what’s my point? I’m not exactly sure. That’s why this is a blog post and not a book.