Do you ever feel like everyone around you has life figured
out and you missed the underground class that they all enrolled in entitled Life
101? I have a confession to make: I feel like that sometimes. I have a friend
who recently confided in me that she has similar feelings too. So, I suspect that
there are others of you out there who must feel the same way. The crazy thing
is, someone else may be thinking the same thing about me, even as I am having these
thoughts!
But of course, the reality is that no one has life
completely figured out. While some people are definitely more mature than
others or have learned wisdom from experience and counsel, we all have times
when we simply don’t know what to do or when we feel lost and afraid. I think
that comes with the territory of being human. We’re fallible and finite and
live in a fallen world. It would be surprising if we didn’t feel lost at times.
But if we add comparison to our confusion or sense of lost-ness
we only compound our problems. Life is already challenging enough, right? So,
maybe instead of comparing ourselves to those who seem to have life figured out
more than us, we could allow our sense of inadequacy to inspire us afresh toward seeking wisdom in Christ, the one "in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge" (Colossians 2:3).
We can always learn from others, especially those who are more skilled in areas where we are lacking. But vague thoughts of comparison only serve to alienate us more from others--often the very ones we could be learning from. These thoughts turn to envy and envy soon turns to despair (I speak from experience).
Proverbs says that "A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot (14:30).
I don't know exactly what it means to have a tranquil heart, but I would suspect that it has a lot to do with contentment. And contentment can't co-exist with envy. And envy is fueled by comparison, by little sneaky, subtle thoughts like, "Man, it must be nice to have it all together like so-and-so," and the self-defeating thoughts like, "Why does everyone else seem to have life figured out except me?" Those thoughts should come with a warning that says Bone Rot (or despair) Ahead.
So, I'll admit it right here and now. I don't have it all figured out (not that you thought I did...but then again, maybe you did!). But I'm going to learn from the one who has all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, the one who knows the very best way to live. And by God's grace, I'm going to be on my guard against those sneaky, life-sucking thoughts. With God's help, I'll learn more and more to see you and others not as ones to fear or envy or hide from, but as people to love and rejoice with and learn from.
