I’ve been thinking lately about the idea of purpose. It seems like there are a lot of voices telling us to find that one thing that we are supposed to contribute to the world, or that one thing that will fill us with joy. And while I think sometimes the path is clear-cut for some, I wonder if others of us might feel that our lives lack meaning because we don’t think we’ve found that “one thing” that we’re supposed to be doing. As I’ve read different books, and heard different talks, I have often felt this pressure to dig deep and find the thing that I’m not doing that I’m supposed to be doing. Meanwhile, my real life is before me and while I know there is value in the mundane tasks that call for my attention, I’ve wondered if there’s something else out there that I’m supposed to be pouring myself into.
Our city is in the process of building a new bridge, which means some days there are lane closures and lots of traffic going over the current bridge. Most of the things I do and places I go require me to cross that bridge on a regular basis. Signs indicate which lanes will be closed, and I have been amazed at how many people will zoom past the cars in the proper lane to cut in way ahead before their lane closes. I am not typically an angry driver, but sitting in traffic with a fussy toddler, I have really felt mad at all those people zooming past me. I feel my blood pressure rise and if I could make eye contact, I would probably give them all dirty looks. BUT, the other day I came home after a long, frustrating drive home and as I reflected on my attitude, the thought came to me what if, next time, you pray for all the people who cut ahead of you in traffic?
So, yesterday, as I felt my blood pressure rise, I decided to pray for "those" people. I prayed that they would have good days and I remembered that I don’t know anything about their lives or the things that they are facing. I started to think about the fact that while no one can see my heart, what I think about and what I do with my anger matters. It matters for the person I am becoming. It matters because God sees and cares. The people in those cars may never know the difference, but I get to choose who I will be--a person who is shriveled up and ugly on the inside due to ungratefulness, bitterness and anger, or a person whose soul is growing in the beauty of gratitude, kindness, and peace.
And all this got me thinking again about purpose. I wonder if sometimes we might miss the numerous ways that we are being shaped--in good ways or bad ways--in our daily lives because we are waiting for that “big thing” that we’re supposed to do, the thing that will set us a part or make us feel significant. Meanwhile, there are thousands of little moments and choices that ask of us “who will you be right now?” I don’t know about you, but one day I really want to be one of those old ladies who people love to be around. I want to radiate peace and joy and overflow with wisdom and kindness. I don’t want to be cranky and sour. But the kind of person I will one day be is contingent upon the choices I make today in thousands of little moments. In traffic, and while changing diapers and potty training and washing the coffee pot (when I want to avoid it) so Geoff doesn’t have to do it in the morning.
Maybe one day you or I will stumble upon some seemingly “bigger” thing that we will get to be a part of. Maybe you’ll start an orphanage or a non-profit or make lots of money to give away. But I think any of those things would simply be a continuation of the journey--not the destination. It seems like the real work of being a human takes place first in all the nooks and crannies of our hearts, in the choices that determine who we are today and lay the foundation for who we will be tomorrow. Jesus once said that the one who would be great must become a servant, and as far as purpose goes, I think that's a pretty good place to start.
