How To Be Well When You're Not Well

Geoff stayed home sick for three days this week and is just now getting better, but he's still not 100 percent. I've woken up with a sore throat almost every day this week, but today it seems my body is tired of fighting and is beginning to give in to the demands of sinus pressure and congestion. I called in sick to work and then went into the living room to check on Geoff (he had slept on the couch, not wanting to keep me up with his reading since he didn't think he'd be able to fall asleep very quickly). I hear the beep of the microwave and think he's making tea for himself, see him pour orange juice and think it's for him too, but before I know it, I have three beverages on the table beside me-orange juice, Alka-Seltzer and hot tea. “For me?” I say. “But you're the one who's been sick.”

“I don't want you to get worse, though.” And I thank him.

I feel myself becoming drowsy and decide to go back to sleep. For a solid three hours. I wake up when I hear him come in the room. “I'm going to get supplies,” he says. Things to help me feel better, and hopefully, not get worse. And I let him, because what else can I do? And because I know how I wanted to help him when he needed it. And I think of how beautiful it is when we lay down our lives in small ways, how service and love perpetuate service and love, how we give until we don't remember who was the first to give anymore. And how it doesn't matter because love just gives no matter what.

Yesterday he said, “I've been praying that through being sick the Lord would help me learn to suffer as He suffered. I'm not perfect at it yet, though.” I smile. Geoff, always a bit hard on himself, but how I love that desire in him to be like Jesus. “These things take time,” I say. And they do. But one doesn't learn to suffer like Jesus simply by suffering. Being sick doesn't sanctify us. It's choosing to look to Jesus in the midst of sickness (or fill in the blank with whatever un-ideal circumstances we find ourselves in). To look to His example of patience, forgiveness, humility, and service. To still think of others even when, like Jesus, suffering is the cup we must drink. And to ask for His help, knowing, like Paul, that even the most harrowing challenges can be endured, and not just endured, but endured with contentment because of Him who strengthens us.

Geoff comes home with Echinacea tea, a variety of medicines and a box of Girl Scout cookies. “I wasn't going to get the cookies, but then I thought of you.” They are my favorite kind (samoas, or "caramel de lites").

“How did you know these are my favorite?”

“I didn't. I told the girls you were sick, I didn't know what kind to get, and they asked if you like coconut. I said yes, and they told me to get these. But then, after buying the medicine, I realized I only had ninety cents left. The lady behind the table told me to just take them. But then another lady overheard us and said, “No, let me buy them for him.”

He tells me this story and and it does more to warm me than the mug in my hands. Even writing it now makes me smile. Again I see it, how service and love perpetuate service and love.

I'm beginning to feel joy, even with this pressure in my head, because I see His goodness all around me, His kingdom coming right here. And I feel the weight of these words differently today: Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Nothing in all creation.

Not even sickness. Not even death. Not the worst, most frustrating day. I live because He lives, and He has shown me the way of love, the way of life.

A few ways to be well when you're not well:

-Receive when others want to serve you—you give them an opportunity to be blessed and give pride a death blow at the same time (Jesus taught the disciples to serve by serving them first...foot washing, anyone?)

-Think of others and how you can serve them in small ways, as you have strength (prayer is one of the most powerful ways to serve others and it's a great way to spend the time when you're lying in bed).

-Pray that the Lord will use your sickness (or whatever suffering) to make you more like Jesus. Think on His life and character and look for ways to be more like Him in your daily life.

-Grow in sensitivity and compassion for those you know who live with chronic illness/pain or are going through a difficult time. Doesn't being sick make you thankful for your health? For me, it also brings to mind those (my mom, in particular) who live with pain and sickness on a daily basis. Maybe I could ask the Lord to help me be more sensitive to the suffering of others even when I'm not sick? Maybe I could look for ways to encourage them, to help them know they are remembered and are not alone?

-Meditate on truth like this: So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. (II Corinthians 4:16-18. ESV.)

and this: It is Well With My Soul (find a version of the song and listen...you're spirits can't help but be lifted!)

What about you? Do you have any ideas on ways to be well in the un-ideal? Any stories of love in action? I would love to hear them!