Thoughts on Today's Tragedy

Affected, yet not affected (my grief can't compare to theirs).
Moved, yet not moved (not to my core).
Shocked, yet not shocked (sadly this is so).

This is where I find myself today. It's not that I don't care; I care very much. But many are saying they are heartbroken, and honestly, I feel a little numb. How sad to live in a world in which hearing about the mass murder of multiple people is a far too common occurrence. I hear the words "another shooting" and I know I should feel such deeper grief, but it's become so common, that I don't even know how to process it anymore. It doesn't help that the first news I heard of it was shared in the break room at work. We didn't all stop what we were doing. There was no moment of silence. I sat there in sadness and some disbelief, but the news seemed like it was coming from somewhere far away. I am sure if I had children I would feel this in a deeper way. I really want to. Perhaps I am not the only one who finds herself in such a state. And maybe I'm not entirely numb. I think I'm angry. Angry that such darkness and evil can exist, and angry that we can even be robbed of the ability to be truly shocked by it. Or maybe this is just a condition of my own heart and I must fight for innocence, fight to see the world with fresh eyes and not through those jaded by time and experience, fight even to be shocked? I don't know. Please tell me if you do.

But I am sad and grieve for the families who have lost children, and for others who have lost family other members. Their lives were turned upside down today and they will never be the same. How quickly the entire course and tone of our lives can change.

I don't have any wise or profound words.

I do pray that I might be more sensitized to what has actually happened. I do pray for the families. And I do pray that His Kingdom will come and His will be done and that there might be peace on earth.

And I am thankful that this is not the end of the story.
Death does not have the final say for those who hope in Jesus.

And though we find ourselves painfully suspended between this life and the one to come,
we know there will come a day when what The Church has been praying for thousands of year--"Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done"--will finally and forever be answered in all it's fullness.
 "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known" (1 Corinthians 13:12-13).