I was putting away leftovers from dinner tonight and after filling one container, I had to reach for a second one (and this was just the main meal--I had already put the asparagus in one container). As I was doing this the thought came to mind that we are rich. I mean, while many people in the world went to bed hungry tonight, I was filling containers with food after Geoff and I had both had our fill. Then, I had to make room in the refrigerator for our bounty. I found myself saying, Why me? Why should I be so blessed? Really, why? Perhaps the reason this juxtaposition of my abundance with the world's need had such an effect on me tonight in particular is because I have had this image in my mind for the past few days that has not wanted to leave. I ran across a picture of an extremely malnourished African boy and his mother. We've all seen pictures of starving children, but this one was different (somehow even more tragic?) The boy had the skinniest legs you could imagine, almost giving the appearance that he was standing on stilts. and you could see his ribs through his skin. His mother had a similar appearance. It was startling and unnerving and unnatural.
So, as I was scooping leftovers into containers, the image of that boy with his mom simply would not leave. Why should I be so blessed? I must have asked myself that question ten more times before and and as I was trying to go to sleep. It was a rhetorical-type question, really. I wasn't expecting some kind of an answer. It was sort of my way of driving home to myself the fact that I have so much to be grateful for. But as I was lying in bed, asking that question one more time, why should I be so blessed, the words came to me,
So you can be a blessing.
Oh.
Maybe it sounds cliche. But those words came to me tonight in a fresher way than they ever have. Of course! These blessings aren't meant for me to hoard. I don't have the ultimate answer as to why I have while others do not. I don't mean to give some pat answer for the complexities of the world's suffering. But I know what having must mean for me. It means I have a responsibility and a privilege to share with others. My blessing ought to mean blessing for others.
You see, so often our response to profound need is to feel guilt. We feel guilty for having so much, so maybe we go through a time of feeling bad about purchasing anything new, but then, after a while that feeling wears off and we're back to where we were before. But I really think that guilt is not a good motivator for change. Instead, in the face of all we have been given, our response should be deep and profound gratitude, and then with grateful hearts, our next step should be to give. Guilt paralyzes. Gratitude propels.
I'm still figuring out what being a grateful person and a giving person looks like. I'm pretty certain (know for a fact) that I don't do all that I can or ought to do. But I am learning and I'm wrestling and I'm being stretched. Will you join me on this journey of learning how to be a blessing to others, how to be wise with the bounty we have been given? This isn't about guilt. It's about gratitude. It's about shifting our perspective in how we perceive our "needs." It's about discovering the paradox that the more we give away, the richer we become, that the way to find our life has always been to lose it for the sake of others. This is the Jesus way, the way that I'm finding to be beautiful and painful, but oh, so worth it.
No comments:
Post a Comment