Count It All Joy? Why? (Part 2)

And let steadfastness have its full effect

that you may be perfect and

complete, lacking in nothing.

James 1:4

In my last post I talked about why we can “count it all joy” in the midst of trials and difficulties. Since then, I did some reading in a commentary and thought it would be important to note something I came across. In his commentary on James, Douglas J. Moo points out that the

Greek translation of the word  all  in the phrase “all joy” ...“probably suggests intensity (complete and unalloyed joy) rather than exclusivity (nothing but joy).” He goes on to say that “James does not, then, suggest that Christians facing trials will have no response other than joy, as  if we were commanded never to be saddened by difficulties. His point, rather, is that trials should be an occasion for genuine rejoicing” (The Letter of James, The PiIllar New Testament Commentary, p.53). To me, that distinction is comforting. We can and should seek to find joy in the midst of our difficulties, but we will still experience a complex mixture of emotions, and that’s okay! One of my all time favorite passages of Scripture says,

As a father shows compassion to his children,

so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.

For he knows our frame;

he remembers that we are dust. Psalm 103: 13-14

I love that image of God as a tender and compassionate Father. He knows our frame--He made us! He knows that our responses to difficulties will include sorrow, disappointment, and even anger at times. He loves us and is with us through it all. But we can experience a joy that rises above our circumstances (even while we still have sadness), as the previous verses state. The knowledge that our trials can shape our character for the better is a real reason for joy. Which brings me to the main subject of this post. Our trials can produce steadfastness, but we have to “let steadfastness have its full effect.” Let is the key word. To quote Moo again, “...the benefits of testing come only to believers who respond to them in the right way: Christians must allow endurance to do its intended work” (p.55). But how do we do that? I won’t claim to be an expert on this, as I am still very much in the process of learning it myself. But what I find helpful sometimes in figuring out what something might look like in action is to think about what it’s not. So, some ways to not let steadfastness have its full effect would be:

-To become bitter.

-To allow jealousy to take root in your heart. This is easy to fall into when we look around and see others who seem to have it easier than we do at the moment, or who have the very thing/s the lack of which in our lives is the source of our trial.

-To complain. We aren’t learning true endurance if all we do is whine. There’s a difference between sharing our sorrows with others and just complaining--I think we can usually tell when we’re slipping into the latter.

-To only ever focus upon the ins and outs of our trial and never seek to find the potential it has for shaping our character. It’s really easy to analyze difficulties from every angle, nursing our wounds and giving in to self-pity. It takes effort to apply that same energy to analyzing how we can grow and learn and love even in the midst of our struggle.

-To simply give up. This probably looks different for everyone, but could be a combination of giving into any of the above and just beginning to coast through life--never trying to improve, never learning to endure.

We learn to endure by enduring. But the kind of enduring James is talking about isn’t just that we keep going. We all will keep going (until we don’t anymore--profound, right?). True endurance, or steadfastness, is all about how we keep going, the way in which we suffer. What our attitude is like, and what it says about what we believe.

Letting steadfastness have its full effect in us is part of what leads to being “perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” This doesn’t mean that we will attain perfect character this side of heaven, but I think it does indicate that steadfastness helps to develop maturity and keeps us on the path towards wholeness and transformation, until the day when “we will be like him, for we will see him as he is” (1 John 3:2).

In my last post I shared about one of my greatest fears. I want to close with a little epiphany I had a few months ago. I had been struggling with the fear that when I inevitably face trials in the future I would not suffer well (and that I wouldn't suffer well in my responses to past and current difficulties). Essentially, I was afraid of doing and becoming my list of “ways to not let steadfastness have its full effect.” And, ultimately, I was afraid that I would let those things cause me to drift away from Christ. Then, one morning as I was praying The Divine Hours through a web site a friend had shared with me, one of the prayers stood out in bold relief.

Lord God, almighty and everlasting Father, you have brought me in safety to this new day: Preserve me with your mighty power, that I may not fall into sin, nor be overcome by adversity; and in all I do direct me to the fulfilling of your purpose; through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen.

All of a sudden a weight seemed to lift from my shoulders and I realized-- I can pray for this! I can ask God to preserve me! I can pray that I would not be overcome by adversity! I can ask the Lord that no matter what I face, I would hold fast and not be overcome. It seems almost silly to say that this was a revelation. Of course, I knew intellectually that I could pray for this. I was accustomed to praying, “Lead us not into temptation,” a request that this prayer echoes. But something about that morning and those specific words did something for my soul that I desperately needed. What freedom can be found in knowing that there is nothing that we need or fear that we can’t ask God to help us with. And of course, if we ask for steadfastness--something so obviously his will for us--he will give it!

So, there’s one more way to let steadfastness have its perfect work--pray! Pray in the midst of your trials. Pray when you’re sad, disappointed, lonely, scared, angry, jealous, tempted to complain and grow bitter. Pray for help to endure, and the Lord will surely hear.

Count It All Joy? Why? (Part 1)

I “rediscovered” the book of James the other day. By that I mean that I hadn’t read it in a while and had forgotten about some of the wonderful nuggets of truth that it contains. It has been called the “Proverbs of the New Testament” for its emphasis on practical Christian living, and that makes sense; if you read and applied the principles from James everyday you would certainly grow in wisdom and mature in your faith.

One of the things that hits home to me as I read this book is the theme of steadfastness. Chapter one, verses 2-4 especially stood out to me:

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

I realized as I read those verses that often in the midst of difficulties my attention is so completely on the thing that am going through that I am blind to what that thing could be accomplishing in me. That’s a pretty normal response, I think. It’s not that you and I are terrible people for not immediately finding joy in the fact that our difficulties can shape our character for the better. I think that James is well aware of human nature and the fact that his words are counter-intuitive. If it was our natural response to “count it all joy” in the midst of trials he wouldn’t have felt the need to exhort believers to do it. Just because something is natural doesn’t mean it is good or ideal (I’m not talking about grief here. Grief is a natural response that is necessary and can be healthy).

My natural response to difficulty is self-pity, jealousy, anger, etc. And while I know that I can’t simply flip a switch and immediately become a person who “counts it all joy,” I can allow the truth of James’ words to be so thoroughly massaged into my heart, that when future trials come, my response might be more in line with what he is talking about. After all, the call to “count it all joy” is not meant to stand on its own; it’s directly tied to the next clause with that little word “for.” Why should you count it all joy when you meet trials of various kinds? For (or because) you know that such testing of your faith produces steadfastness. Now, if you’re a person who cares nothing about the state of your soul or character, this doesn’t mean much to you. But James is writing to believers and the assumption would be that they would want to grow! They would want to be faithful, steadfast servants of the risen Lord. And if what James is saying is true, then this is good news. Trials can actually be tools to help my faith grow? That offers a needed perspective shift and gives hope. I think, to some degree, we are all aware that trials can serve good purposes in our lives. But too often the reminders come when we’re not in a place to hear them, often, unfortunately, from people who mean well but could stand to learn some empathy and tact. Those experiences can make us suspicious of the very truths we need to take hold of to arm ourselves for future difficulties.

Here’s a little personal confession. One of my greatest fears is that I will face a trial that will wreck my faith. I am afraid that when an inevitable future loss or difficulty comes I will become bitter and walk away from God. Perhaps not all at once, but maybe more of a slow drift, like an untethered boat, slowly drifting from the dock. I know that God is faithful and has a greater hold on me than I could ever have on him. But I think the fear that nags at me is a great invitation to go deeper into what I know to be true and to prepare now for the trials that will come. In my next post I will talk more about that journey and what it might look like to “let steadfastness have its full effect.”

To the Silent Sufferers

One of the things that often adds to the pain of suffering is those times when you must do so silently. On the outside, you go about your days and your  duties as if nothing is wrong, because for whatever reason, you cannot share your grief. Or, perhaps, the time for grieving has passed--at least in the minds of those around you--and you fear that others will grow weary of hearing the same words, the same the same questions, the same struggle. And so you soldier on. You continue walking. But it is a lonely road.

Maybe you must remain silent to protect the reputation of another. Maybe the situation is sensitive and requires privacy. Maybe you’ve timidly shared your struggle only to have a trust--or your heart--broken, so you keep your pain close to the broken places.

To those who silently struggle, suffer, grieve, wait, long, hope, endure--I just want you to know tonight that you are seen. Every silent sufferer knows some of your pain. You are more connected to others than it may seem. Reach out where you can. Share what you can. But when silence feels like your closest companion, when you feel misunderstood, lonely, and unknown--in those times and in all the times in-between--know that your Maker is closer than your breath.  He sees. He knows. He cares.

And I know that when you’re walking the hard and lonely roads, sometimes those truths can seem so vague and distant. But it’s also on those same roads that we see how real they are. I have often resisted prayer only to find upon beginning that prayer was what I needed all along. With my “amen” comes renewed hope and courage and the reminder of the words to the old hymn, “O what peace we often forfeit/ O what needless pain we bear/ All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer!” Our Father really is with us, more ready to hear our prayers than we are to pray.

Silent Sufferer, be encouraged by this: you don't have to keep silent with God. In fact, He invites all the words and all the noise you want to bring him.

#3,955

I started keeping a gratitude journal soon after Geoff and I got married. Every day I would record things that I was thankful for from that day or simply from life in general. I noticed that I started paying attention to the world around me in a new way. I began not only to notice things to be thankful for, but to look for things to be thankful for. 

 Time went on and this habit of journaling sometimes fell by the wayside, but then I would eventually pick it back up, needing the fresh perspective that it offered. Recently, I went through a time of neglecting this discipline. The irony is that if I would have stuck with it, it probably would have helped me through some dark moments, not in an earth-shattering, this-is-the-answer-to-everything-way, but in a quiet, steady way, like the simple presence of a friend on a hard day. That's the thing about good habits or disciplines--they only work for us if we persist in them. They do us little good if we merely dabble. And they won't be there to help us when we need them most if we neglected them back when skies were a little sunnier, or told ourselves on cloudy days that it would take just too...much...energy. I've learned this the hard way and I am still learning it.

There may come a day when I move on from this discipline to something else. I'm aware that some habits may be helpful for certain seasons of life and once they've served their purpose it's time to move on. Keeping a gratitude journal might be like that--prayer on the other hand, is definitely not. But today, I know that I am helped by this record keeping, this scanning of my life for the gifts that keep coming, all reminding me of how God keeps coming for me, never leaving or forsaking. Indeed, his mercies are new every morning. 

Just this morning I wrote #3,955: For lessons learned and learned again.

Thoughts from a Recovering Pessimist

I’ve been in a process lately of changing the way that I think. Let’s just say I don’t struggle with being overly optimistic. Lately, a shift has taken place within me, though, so maybe you could say I’m in recovery. Yes, I think it’s safe to say I am a recovering pessimist.

The shift hasn’t been automatic. Like any good thing worth having, changing our thought patterns takes effort. I have had to become more aware of the thoughts that are on repeat in my brain and am learning to evaluate those thoughts based upon whether they are true and helpful. A tool that I have found helpful is Martin Seligman’s book Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life. In it he notes that when we have a negative experience, “we react by thinking about it. Our thoughts rapidly congeal into beliefs. These beliefs may become so habitual we don’t even realize we have them unless we stop and focus on them. And they don’t just sit there idly; they have consequences. The beliefs are the direct causes of what we feel and what we do next.” We are all probably aware on some level that the way we think affects our feelings and actions. But even so, we could probably afford to do a little meta thinking--thinking about the way we think. We generally accept that what we put into our bodies--whether it be drugs or junk food--negatively affects our health. But we may not often think about how the way we think affects what we believe and feel and do--as well as our physical health! It doesn't seem like much of anything we think or do is neutral. I know that I have often acted as though there is no correlation between the thoughts I dwell upon and how I feel. I've assumed that my thoughts were just there and I often haven't realized the connection between them and how I felt and who was becoming. The apostle Paul understood how our thoughts and actions/character are linked and exhorted Christians in Rome to “be transformed by the renewal of your mind” (Romans 12:2).

My circumstances haven’t changed, but I‘m learning to think differently about the nagging disappointments and frustrations that persist or inevitably arise. Instead of seeing everything through the lens of whatever I perceive is not going right in my life, I am able to see that I actually have a choice in how I interpret my circumstances--and do I really want to spiral into a pit of negativity like I have in the past? Habits are hard to kick, and sometimes in the moment the negative route seems appealing, but then I remember how draining it really is, and how it doesn’t do me or anyone else any favors. I’ve breathed the air that a healthier thought life offers and don’t want to go back.

Ironically, what I’ve found myself fearing (apparently it’s possible to be pessimistic about your optimism!) is that I will go back, that this progress I’m making is just a phase, the “honeymoon” period of new habits taking shape. In those moments I just have to ask God that He will help me to continue using the tools I have been given so that I will be transformed little by little, day by day. I know that when my mind is healthy, I am more able to love the people around me and to pursue the things He’s called me to do to influence my little sphere of the world.

This post isn't so much a "how to" as it is just me processing the shift that has taken place in my mind and soul. But if you struggle with worry or anxiety or just tend to default to a more negative outlook (I'm not talking about clinical depression here, although negative thinking can certainly exacerbate depression) I hope that this might offer you even just a bit of hope that change is possible. It might start with writing a list every day of three things you are thankful for. Or meditating on a truth of Scripture to replace a lie you have been believing (and therefore acting upon). Or you might want to pick up a book about habits/mindset/optimism (I promise they aren't all bogus). Whatever small step you take, as you become more aware of those thoughts that are on repeat in your mind and seek to refute what it is false or unhelpful, I am optimistic that you, like me, will gradually experience a shift in your outlook that might catch you by surprise.

Recommended reading:

The Slight Edge: Turning Simple Disciplines into Massive Success and Happiness, Jeff Olson

Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life, Martin Seligman

How I Plan to be More Present in 2016

For many people, the beginning of a new year is a time for setting goals and thinking about changes they would like to see in the coming year. Although I’ve never been great at goal setting, l definitely find myself thinking about the ways I would like to grow and change in 2016. My husband recently taught a Bible study lesson and wrote a blog post (https://shallowthoughtswithgeoff.wordpress.com/2015/12/31/its-a-new-year-be-the-ant/) on this topic, which also served as a springboard for discussion as we gathered with some close friends to ring in the new year.

One of the questions to ask ourselves from the lesson was “What do I want more of?” This was followed by the question, "What small, self-starting, regular action can I take to get the more that I want?" I concluded that one of the things I desire in the coming year is to be more present. This is a recurring them in my thinking and writing, as it is something that I seem to be constantly striving for, or at least often feeling guilty for not being better at. I think my struggle stems from my introverted tendency to be inside my own head when I am around people, which can cause me to be spaced out and distracted. I can also become overly stimulated in the midst of lots of activity and noise and this makes it challenging for me to focus. Trying to have a conversation with one person when I’m picking up bits of conversations all around me takes tremendous concentration and can feel very overwhelming. My selfish tendency is to check out because the work it takes of being in tune to the people around me, particularly in group settings, can take so much effort. But, it’s effort that I know is well spent, and I believe it’s something that I can get better at with practice.

I think of a lady I knew a few years ago who embodied the picture I have in my mind of what it means to be present. When I was around her I really felt like I was the only person in the room. She gave me her full attention and made me feel truly valuable. I would come away from time with her with the thought I want to be like Suzy. But I have a feeling that even Suzy had to work at being this way and that I was experiencing the fruits of her intentional habits and choices. Here are some strategies I have for being more intentionally present in the coming year:

Try, or as author Gretchen Rubin says, “Act the way I want to feel.” Trying isn’t everything, but it shouldn’t be thrown out altogether simply because certain behaviors don’t come naturally. If I approach a social setting with the mindset that to the best of my ability, I am going to give every person I talk to my full attention, I am already set up for greater success than if I simply do what comes naturally. And if I act engaged, chances are I will actually become engaged, and the more engaged I become, the less prone to distraction I will probably be.

Quiet my mind/ take inventory. When I know that I am going to be in a social setting (even if it’s simply Geoff coming home from work or vise versa), I need to take a few moments to be still and quiet some of the jabber in my mind. Originally, I typed “clear my mind,” but I don’t know if that is possible or necessarily helpful. I don’t need to approach a social setting with zero thoughts in my head, but it would be helpful if some of the noise was quieted a bit. If something frustrated me at work, I can try to pinpoint my feelings about what happened so that I can share them with Geoff instead of being in a distracted fog when I get home. If I’m going to a party and feel scattered and anxious, I can take a few moments to process what I am feeling and get my bearings. If I am to be present, I must be prepared to listen and as Adam McHugh states, “There is a vast difference between merely not speaking and listening. True listening requires us to silence the constant monologue running through our heads.” If I am to listen well and give people my full attention, one of the most loving things I can do is prepare myself with a few minutes of “me” time.

Be me. The only person I can be with any degree of success is myself. This might see like it contradicts all this talk about effort and working against what feels natural, but the reality is that we all have to work against the weaknesses that come with the way we are wired. I am coming to see that introversion, so often confused with shyness and seen in a negative light, comes with tremendous potential for good. The same is true of extroversion. The world needs all personality types, and the world needs people who can be themselves well. Being me, or better put, being the best version of myself, means taking an honest look at my struggles and weaknesses and working to become better. It means operating within my natural abilities and stretching myself when doing so is good for me and the people around me. This is where doing things like taking time to quiet my mind are so important. When I do this, I am valuing how I am wired while also preparing myself for growth. Being me should also include doing more of the things that make me come alive and help me operate within my giftings. When I spend time in nature I feel alive and refreshed. When I write I feel like I’m doing something that I was created to do. What does this have to do with being present? When we are at ease with ourselves, we can be at ease with others. When we have this ongoing habit of operating within the framework of our inner blueprint--all the while seeking growth in the context of kindness and grace towards ourselves--I think we will be on our way to truly being with others when we are with them. If you are an extrovert and struggle with being present, you might need to practice listening more than you speak or paring down you're schedule so you're less busy and can be less rushed when you are with people.

While your desires and goals for the coming year may be totally different from mine, I hope you will take the time to think about what you would like more of (and less of) in the coming year, and what small steps you can take to get it.

The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin

Introverts in the Church, Adam McHugh